This is my confession...

"what do you do, if you know that something's bad for, but you still can't let go?!"

That's the first verse of Christina Aguilera's song that I've been listening so much lately… *I forgot the title though*...

But the first time I heard that song, I felt like the question was directed to me… and I started to think… about all the stuffs I’ve been doing lately… the stuffs that I had never done before… the stuffs that I know they’re wrong but the fact doesn’t stop me from doing it… the bad stuffs… the bad stuffs that I love!

Anyway… I tried to contemplate… bout my life… bout what I wanna do wit my future *heavy huh?!*… and everything else that comes along with it… and all of a sudden… I can’t think anymore… I’ve got so fed up with my life and everything in it… I’ve lost all my perspectives, my principles, and all other things that I used to believe in…

All of a sudden… all the right things seem wrong to me… and all the wrong things seem right… and I can’t even tell which one that I want…

One thing that I can’t get my mind off is… my forbidden relationship… I think I’m in love with someone that I shouldn’t be in love with… he belongs to someone else… and I belong to… no one, actually… heeheeheee… the irony of life… ;p

Whenever I’m with him… in the back of my mind, I know, that this relationship is not going anywhere… that it should’ve been just an “affair”… a no-commitment relationship… I should be having fun with it, and not worrying about it at all… but I just can’t help it… I can’t help thinking that I really really really like him… that I wanna be with him… and this is killin me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a catastrophe… I wanna be with him, but at the same time I don’t wanna be with him coz it’s wrong… I’m confused in deciding whether I wanna do the thing that I WANT… or do the thing that is RIGHT…